December 5, 2024: A Shanty For Your Table

A Drop of Nelson's Blood (also known as Roll the old chariot along) is a well-known sea shanty with a catchy melody and a ridiculously simple structure. If you want to get the vibe, I really like the Longest Johns version. Just one warning: this is an earworm that won't go away.

The predictable pattern and heavy repetition make it very easy to teach to a new group, as well as make up verses. Recorded versions are typically a few minutes, but I've heard this go on for dozens of verses around a fire with a few drinks.

Anyway, here's a version for your tabletop roleplaying group. Do with this what you will.

Well, a session off the rails wouldn't do us any harm
And a session off the rails wouldn't do us any harm
And a session off the rails wouldn't do us any harm
And the GM wouldn't mind!

Come on and roll the old character along
We'll roll the old character along
We'll roll the old character along
And the GM wouldn't mind!

Just one evening with the bard wouldn't do us any harm
No, an evening with the bard wouldn't do us any harm
And an evening with the bard wouldn't do us any harm
And the GM wouldn't mind!

Come on and roll the old character along . . .

It goes along like that, alternating between the verses (which change each time) and the refrain (which is consistent), until you get tired of it. Seriously, one of my favorite bits about this song is that you can just keep it going as long as you can come up with silly verses and everyone's having fun.

Here are some more verses to get you started:

And a homebrew grapple rule wouldn't do us any harm

Now, the deck of many things wouldn't do us any harm

And a podcast of our game wouldn't do us any harm

And a THAC0 through the roof wouldn't do us any harm

And a brand new set of dice wouldn't do us any harm

And this potion that I found wouldn't do us any harm

(Lest the GM lose their mind!)

Of course, now that I've written these, I have a mighty need to see someone perform an in-universe shanty at their gaming table the next time their party enters an appropriate establishment . . . so if you've got any shanty parodies of your own, share them with me in the forum?

-- Irene Zielinski