Yeah, I know who you are. Ask me if I care, you
genocidal bastard.
What? You were expecting some granola-crunching,
incense-burning flake ready to spout off gibberish
about the healing power of crystals? Mother of All,
you've been watching too much television - and
gleaning the stupider bits. I thought that your kind
were against that sort of thing.
Don't even think about telling me about the
machinations of the Media. I already know about it,
thank you very much - and not because Nybbas is
friendly to my god. You look surprised that I know
the name. Well, some sides to this War actually keep
their servants properly informed: I know that your
particular pantheon doesn't believe in that sort of
thing, but why should I care about 'Heaven's'
fetishes?
Keep my voice down? Or you'll do what, precisely?
Thanks to your pantheon, I've already lost my job and
custody of my kids. Something about 'providing an
inappropriate home environment', if I recall
correctly. No matter that someone had to plant
evidence of illicit drug use first, then manipulate
things until I faced a judge already in your pocket:
after all, we can't have avowed high priestesses
around and actually providing real miracles for the
poor. Why, people might actually look at your racket
with open eyes.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't help laughing. Such
effrontery deserved it. What you don't seem to
realize is that we saw through this artificial
division between 'Heaven' and 'Hell' a long time ago.
'Demons' are just as much parts of your pantheon as
'angels' are. It's called dualism, and your Yahweh
was quite clever to come up with it. It's certainly
keeping your racket alive and well. Of course, it's
also been directly responsible for most of the misery
on the planet, but that's a small price to pay for all
the Essence your kind get to batten upon.
That's really what bothers me most about you and your
fellow spirits, you know. It's not that you obviously
think that we're idiots, it's not that you're guzzling
way more than your fair share of human belief, it's
not even that you killed your cousins ... it's that
you've even managed to delude yourselves that things
have always been this way. Angel or demon, every
single one of you is absolutely convinced that your
god created this entire universe and everything in it
- then you go to go through incredible amounts of
mental contortions to avoid the question of why an
omnipotent God would permit suffering and pain. If
you would just admit that he isn't all-powerful or
all-knowing, or even eternal...
Why do I bother? It'll just bounce off of the
invincible armor of your self-righteousness. You're
top dogs, you and your great powerful 'Enemies', and
of course it's always been that way. Your precious
Malakim ripped apart anybody who might be able to
contradict you, after all ... except that they didn't,
quite? The old gods are still here - weakened, but
still here - and you didn't even exterminate the Hindu
pantheon. Amazing how they never seemed to get
attacked. Well, amazing to you. I'm not surprised
that your Uriel never quite had the stones to take
them on.
Oh, you can tell from my words that I'm not speaking
'Truth'? My, aren't you a funny fellow? Ever
consider that you're getting your 'Truth' from your
god ... and that he certainly would make sure that
you'd get the proper responses to this sort of
question? No, of course not.
Anyway, you've come here, apparently, to find out why
I worship an ethereal god that isn't yours. Yes, I
know that you didn't pose the question that way, but
that's the one that I'll be answering. The answer's
simple: because it's a symbiotic relationship. My god
cares - you might call it enlightened self-interest,
if you want to be snide, but the result is the same.
My god dislikes seeing humans being unhappy or in
pain, he has abilities that allow him to alleviate
those conditions, and all he asks for in return is
that we believe in him. If we don't, he dies. It's a
fairer trade than either of your 'sides' has ever
offered. If you've got the power to make life better,
why not use it?
Because 'Hell' won't let you? Bah. My god has every
hand against him, and he keeps fighting evil - and I
can see his efforts. Can you see the efforts of
yours? Don't bother answering - in fact, either go
away or kill me. Your kind is good at that - although
I'm amazed that you've never thought about why it's OK
to interfere with Earth by killing things in carloads,
but not OK to heal every case of AIDS in the world.
Me and mine would do the latter in a second - if we
had the power. That we don't is your fault.
Well, at least you're not muttering pleasantries about
how nice it was to speak to me. Don't let the door
hit you on the ass on your way out.
What? You'll check into my legal case? Don't even
think about trying to bribe me. You should be doing
it, spirit: it's your pantheon's fault, after all. It
won't make up for the crimes all of you've been
committing for millennia, either. Just do it because
it's the right thing to do.
Who knows? You might find it a refreshing change.
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