Cast : Natalie, Lilim, our heroine
Joshua, Malakite of Novalis, our hero
Betharan, Lilim of Asmodeus, Antiheroine
Daimonique, Lilim of Kobal, Funny Girl
Dannah, Seraph of Judgement, Frequently Sat Upon
Tommy, Malakite of Wind, Cool Guy
Abdi-bezek, Kyriotate of Lightning, Techno Dude
Kronos, Demon Prince of Fate
Jean, Archangel of Lightning
Novalis, Archangel of Flowers
Choruses of Lilim, Servitors of Wind, Servitors of Lightning, Servitors of Fate, Servitors of Flowers
Lilim Guildhall. Various Lilim sit around the empty booths, sharing jokes or comparing Geasa. Natalie enters from stage left, arms conspicuously bare, looking around innocently.
Lilim Chorus :
Gimme Geases, gimme Geases,
Let them owe me far and wide,
Have them queueing for my favours
Till the banks go smash
And make sure that they always pay in cash...
Natalie : Hey, um, is this, like, the Guildhall?
Daimonique : No, it's the Cathedral of Judgement. How badly do you need to know, anyhow?
Natalie : (looking relieved) Right. This is where I get a job.
Daimonique : Get a job? You are new.
Natalie : (blinks) What's wrong with just getting a job? I thought that was what we were all about.
Daimonique : Honey, we're about finding what people need and giving it to them. For a price. Or if it's funny.
Betharan : (to one side, Geas-bracelets clanking all over her) Speak for yourself.
Daimonique : (wanders over, takes Natalie's arm) Sister, we're out here to enjoy ourselves and be expensive. Look at it this way...
In this life one thing counts
Geases in large amounts
I'm afraid these don't grow on trees
Get out and do a favour or two!
Geases don't grow on trees
Get out and do a favour or two!
Geases don't grow on trees
Get out and do a favour or two!
Why should we become slaves
Serving Princes to our graves?
Make a quick deal, beg, borrow, steal,
Get out and do a favour or two!
Make a deal, beg, borrow, steal,
Get out and do a favour or two!
Serve a Prince, it makes me wince,
Get out and do a favour or two!
Look at Mom - that's the style -
Everyone owes her a pile!
Buy yourself free, that's how to be,
Get out and do a favour or two!
Really free of slavery...
Get out and do a favour or two!
Really free, that's how to be,
Get out and do a favour or two!
Natalie : Wow. So, like, you can eventually get free and be powerful and have everyone owe you favours?
Daimonique : Yeah, kid, that's the theory.
Natalie : (carefully) So, um, how come you're Bound to Kobal?
Daimonique : (shrugging) I worship and adore the slush between his toes, and it gives me the chance to Prank people. He's cool.
Natalie : (glancing across at all Betharan's Geas-bracelets, and lowering her voice) And, um, how come in that case so many of our Sisters have Geases all over her? Especially that one?
First Lilim : Pure coincidence.
Second Lilim : Strictly temporary.
Third Lilim : Just till I've paid off a few debts.
Daimonique : (jerks thumb towards Betharan) That one made a big mistake. She tried going Bright.
(All Lilim nearby gasp.)
Natalie : I thought we couldn't go Bright.
Daimonique : Yeah, well, if you go Bright, first you get fried to death, then you get chopped up by maniac angels, then you get used as a sex-toy by Malakim, then you get sold to Laurence, then you get turned into a Barbie doll, and then the Game catches you and you become Public Execution Number One unless you swear personally to Asmodeus and be his lapdog for the rest of eternity.
Natalie : (innocently) What, all at once?
Daimonique : (gives her hard stare) It's a Bad Idea. Okay?
Natalie : Okay.
Betharan : Don't think I don't know you're talking about me.
Daimonique : You go back to brooding, honey, I'm just telling Natalie here why she doesn't want to do bad treasonous stuff.
Betharan : You do that. (goes back to brooding)
Natalie : How do I get to Earth?
Daimonique : How badly do you need to know, Sister?
Natalie : (gazing into her eyes) I'll get you a donut.
Daimonique : That's the idea!
(There is a *ping* and a bangle appears on Natalie's wrist.)
Natalie : All right, so how do I get to Earth, then?
Daimonique : You get a Vessel off a Prince or off Mom. It costs, but hey, there's nothing like Earth. Trust me.
Natalie : (looking round gloomily) So I've got to get into debt?
Daimonique : Well, yeah... but it's just temporary. Right?
First Lilim : Sure.
Second Lilim : You can pay it off any time.
Third Lilim : No hurry.
Daimonique : Anyhow, they've got the latest Nybbas documentary over in Perdition, and I've got tickets. Anyone else coming?
(General cries of assent, and all the Lilim except Natalie and Betharan rush offstage.)
Natalie : (looking up at Betharan) Got any advice?
Betharan : Sure.
Natalie : Well?
Betharan : What's it worth to you?
Natalie : I stop pestering you?
Betharan : Okay. My advice? Don't screw up. Don't get caught. And don't trust anyone.
Natalie : That's not very encouraging.
Betharan : What can I say, Sister? This is Hell.
(Betharan leaps from the balcony where she was brooding, and darts offstage, to the theme tune from _Xena, Warrior Princess_.)
Natalie : (wandering to the front of the stage) But how am I ever to get to Earth now, without binding myself to a Prince? What am I going to do?
Kronos : (wandering onto stage behind her, in robes and hood that hide his face) I am sure that something could be arranged.
Natalie : (jumping in shock) Eeep!
Kronos : Over here.
Natalie : Does this usually happen round here? Mysterious cloaked figures showing up and offering people their heart's desires?
Kronos : This is Hell. It's traditional.
Natalie : So you could let me get to Earth?
Kronos : Easily. For a future favour.
Natalie : How big a favour?
Kronos : A big one. And please refrain from phallic jokes at this point.
Our great Lucifer, noble man,
When he to rule this land began
Resolved to try a plan whereby
Young demons might be steadied.
So he decreed in words approp
That all who tried to fly the shop
Without permission to hop
Should forthwith be beheaded, beheaded, beheaded,
Should forthwith be beheaded.
And I should think that you'll agree
That he was right to so decree
And I am right and you are right
And all are right as right can be!
And I am right and you are right
And all are right as right as right can be!
This stern decree, you'll understand,
Caused grave dismay throughout the land
For young and old, and shy and bold,
Were equally affected.
The imp who winked a Renegade eye
Or breathed a most disloyal sigh
Was thereupon condemned to die -
He usually objected, objected, objected,
He usually objected.
And you'll allow, as I expect,
That he was right to so object,
And I am right, and you are right,
And everything is quite correct!
And I am right, and you are right,
And everything is quite correct!
But now I'll let you out quite free
For some small favour you'll do me
Unspecified, and quite denied,
And easily forgotten.
And you can run around on Earth
As if you had a human birth,
Corporeal, and sexual,
And spoil yourself quite rotten, quite rotten, quite rotten,
And spoil yourself quite rotten.
And I am right, I'm sure you'll say,
To argue in this kind of way,
And I am right, and you are right,
And all are right - too looral lay!
And I am right, and you are right,
And all are right - too looral lay!
Natalie : Well, gee, you're offering me all sorts of ways to indulge myself in the pleasure of the moment and frivol around, for an unspecified huge future favour which may cost me my soul. (she shrugs) Sure, I'll do it.
(There is a deep bell-tone, and a large bracelet appears on her wrist.)
Kronos : You now have a Vessel, and can get to Earth any time that you wish. I will discuss the payment with you ... later.
(Kronos vanishes in a cloud of brimstone.)
Natalie : (inspecting the bracelet) Could I possibly have made the wrong decision?
(Lilim Chorus enters again, led by Daimonique.)
Natalie : Hey! I got a Vessel!
Daimonique : Fast work, Sister. Okay, you want to know where the nearest Tether upstairs is?
Natalie : (gazes into Daimonique's eyes) Sorry, I can't manage the lime jello stuff.
Daimonique : (shrugs) Worth a try. Okay, this one's a freebie. It's just down the stairs.
Natalie : (grins, heading offstage) See you on Earth!
First Lilim : (when Natalie has gone) Should we have warned her about the angels?
Daimonique : She's a big girl. She can take care of herself.
[Curtain falls as the Lilim go back to discussion.]
Denny's, in some major city. Various young men and women lounge around in black leather jackets and jeans, with mugs of coffee, chattering blithely. They are, of course, all angels.
Hark, the hour of three is sounding,
Hearts with anxious fears are bounding,
Denny's with our guns surrounding,
All in leather gear.
For, today in this location,
Caffeine as our consecration,
Angels all on our vacation
Windies now are here.
Tommy : I don't know, guys. It's been a cool hour, and we've got a lot done, and we've each had six cups of coffee, but somehow I feel that there's something missing in life.
Joshua : You just need to sit back and watch the flowers grow, Tommy.
Tommy : (sarcastically) Some of us would rather blow up our enemies than drop trees on them.
Joshua : You underestimate the stopping power of a twenty-metre-tall oak.
Tommy : It's not enough. We need excitement! We need diversion! We need...
(Dannah enters. She is thin, wearing dark glasses, in MIB outfit.)
Dannah : Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a Seraph of Judgement.
Tommy : Alleluia!
Dannah : I've come to investigate for heresy, corruption, and so on. Please form an orderly line for interrogation. Fill in a red card if you have committed more than a dozen misdemeanours since your last encounter with a Servitor of Judgement.
Tommy : Me first! I've got five counts of petty theft, seventy-nine for speeding, three hundred and fifty uses of bad language...
Dannah : (to audience) This always happens.
Dannah : When an angel's not engaged in his deployment,
Angels : His deployment
Dannah : Or maturing his celestial little plans,
Angels : Little plans
Dannah : His capacity for criminal enjoyment
Angels : 'nal enjoyment
Dannah : Is just as great as any wicked man's.
Angels : Wicked man's
Dannah : My feelings I quite easily can smother,
Angels : She can smother
Dannah : Inquisitionary duties must be done:
Angels : Must be done
Dannah : Ah, take one consideration with another,
Angels : With another
Dannah : A Dominican's lot can be a happy one.
Angels : Happy one
If the Inquisition's duties must be done, must be done,
A Dominican's lot can be a happy one.
Dannah : When the enterprising Windy's not a-thieving,
Angels : Not a-thieving
Dannah : And the Gabrielite's not setting towns on fire,
Angels : Towns on fire
Dannah : They love to sing their hymns to high explosives,
Angels : High explosives!
Dannah : Auditioning for their Cathedral Choir.
Angels : 'thedral Choir
Dannah : When Creationers aren't wearing out their bedsprings,
Angels : Out their bedsprings
Dannah : They can occasionally get things done:
Angels : Get things done
Dannah : But, take one consideration with another
Angels : With another
Dannah : A Dominican's lot can be a happy one.
Angels : Happy one
If the Inquisition's duties must be done, must be done,
A Dominican's lot can be a happy one.
(Dannah walks across and begins taking notes as Tommy prattles away, with an attitude of horror and disgust.)
(Natalie enters, looking cute and innocent.)
Natalie : Does this place sell coffee?
(All angels wave their coffee mugs at her.)
Natalie : And, ah, who do I owe a favour to to get a cup?
(All angels stare at her. There is a long silence.)
Joshua : Just who are you?
Natalie : (inventing frantically) My name's Natalie. I was, um, brought up by wolves, and this is my first experience of civilisation.
(Dannah begins to squawk something, but is grabbed by Tommy and the nearest angels, and sat on.)
Joshua : Uh-huh. And you came to Denny's?
Natalie : Oh, everyone comes to Denny's.
Joshua : Just visiting the big city?
Natalie : Just here to have fun. Really. People are neat. Coffee smells good. Leather jackets are cool to wear.
Tommy : (rising and coming across to Joshua, muttering) I am seriously unconvinced by this story.
Dannah : Mff mff MMFFF!
Joshua : (muttering to Tommy) Not to worry. I'll take her into my personal custody.
Tommy : Oh, so that's what you call it.
Natalie : I beg your pardon?
Joshua : Want to come dancing?
Natalie : Sure!
Tommy : (muttering to Joshua) Are you sure about this?
Joshua : (muttering to Tommy) Anyone who looks that cute has to be Redeemable.
Dannah : MMMMMF!
Natalie : (coming across) Hey, how come all those guys there are sitting on that woman in the black suit?
Tommy : Street theatre.
Joshua : Artistic liberation of the inner soul.
Tommy : Symbolic repression of repression.
Joshua : She likes it really.
Dannah : Mmmf. Mmmf.
Natalie : Weird. (she attaches herself to Joshua's arm, firmly)
Be our guest, be our guest
Put our flying to the test
Just ignore the fancy wings, cherie
And we'll do all the rest
Toss a bomb, like your nerve
Why, we only live to serve
We're just human, normal tariff
(Please ignore the sat-on Seraph)
We can sing, we can ride,
All our cycles are outside
And the speed with us is never second best!
We've got a lot to do - and moccacino too -
For you our guest, you our guest, you our guest!
All : (dancing)
Be our guest, be our guest,
Come on a heroic quest
For the sleekest motorcycle
And we know you'll be impressed,
Cause some change, have some fun,
Be a Leather Biker Nun,
Sip the best in cappucino
Race a white endangered rhino,
Change the world, do some good,
Like you always knew you could,
And then ride into the sunset in the west -
We've got the world to change, and leather pants to arrange,
For you our guest, you our guest, you our guest!
[Wild dancing across stage. Dannah is chained to a table with her own handcuffs, and sits there sulking. Natalie and Joshua do the jive. Curtain falls.]
Denny's. Angels come onstage cheerfully, led by Joshua and Natalie. Dannah trails along at the back, looking depressed.
Joshua : City wrecking - had me a blast,
Natalie : City wrecking - happened so fast,
Joshua : Met a Lilim - crazy for me!
Natalie : Met a Malakite - cute as could be!
City days - dynamite haze,
But oh, oh those city nights!
Wella, wella, wella, hey!
Tell me more, tell me more,
Tommy : Did you get her Redeemed?
All : Tell me more, tell me more,
Dannah : Is it cute to be green?
Joshua : Uh-uh.
Natalie : Uh-huh!
Joshua : Saw my wings - she nearly freaked,
Natalie : Saw his wings - went kind of weak,
Joshua : She'd heard lies - I told her what's true,
Natalie : I don't care - as long as it's you!
City hours - covered in flowers,
But oh, oh those city nights!
Wella, wella, wella, hey!
Tell me more, tell me more,
Tommy : So what's happening now?
All : Tell me more, tell me more,
Dannah : Should I go have a cow?
Joshua : Uh-huh.
Natalie : Uh-huh!
Joshua : We've agreed - to give it a while,
Natalie : I agreed - he just gave a smile,
Joshua : Give it time - I know she'll go Bright!
Natalie : Give me time - and give me tonight!
City scenes - black leather and jeans,
But oh, oh those city nights!
Dannah : (limply) This is all most irregular.
Joshua : Yeah, yeah. Okay, Natalie, are you coming dancing tonight?
Natalie : Sure! Just let me pay my tab here.
Tommy : That's a really bad habit, you know. Just think of how much interest and change you'd leave in their lives if you didn't pay it.
Natalie : And what about when I came back here again?
Tommy : Quibbles, quibbles.
Joshua : Okay, people, let's get moving. I'll catch up with you later, Natalie!
(They embrace, then everyone except Natalie exits. She walks over to the counter, and puts a small amount of money on it. Behind her, the cloaked and hooded figure of Kronos emerges from the shadows.)
Natalie : (turning) Eep!
Kronos : No. (throwing back his hood) Kronos, Demon Prince of Fate!
Natalie : (pausing) I think the eep still stands. (falling to her knees and bowing her head) Great Prince of Fate, Dread Lord of Darkness, Master of Souls and Doom of Mortals.
Kronos : I have come for repayment of the debt you owe me.
Natalie : (to the ground) Damn.
Kronos : You will find it a very simple thing. I want you to make a Malakite Fall.
(Natalie goes white.)
Kronos : In particular, that Malakite of Flowers who you have been toying with.
Natalie : But... Dread Lord of Fate, most mighty Prince, he, er, I...
Kronos : (darkly) Your Geas binds you to obey me now. I gave you a Vessel, and permission to come to Earth. Now you must pay.
Natalie : Prince of Fate, ask me anything, but not that!
Kronos : (clenches his hand) That is my price.
Were I not by Geas bound now,
I would say, in furious tone,
Let me have the life I've found now,
Let me have it for my own;
I'd not care for rank or station,
This sweet earth enough for us,
And to mark my condemnation
I would gesture vilely thus -
I would gesture vilely thus.
(Natalie gestures appropriately.)
But as you now owe Geas for me
You're obliged to kneel before me
And although you don't adore me
You'll obey me as your Lord, me!
Natalie : Lord, me?
Kronos : Lord, me!
Natalie : Lord, me?
Kronos : Lord, me!
Natalie : Lord, me?
Kronos : Lord, me!
Both : Lord, me!
So, because of my temptation,
You must pay the Geas I call,
And in spite of hesitation
You must make your lover Fall.
Let me make it clear to you,
This is what you have to do!
This, oh this, oh this, oh this -
This is what you have to do -
Natalie : I have to do -
Kronos : You have to do -
Natalie : I have to do -
Kronos : You have to do -
Both : Must do - this is what I/you have to do!
Kronos : Am I understood? Your payment for everything you have received for me is the damnation of your Malakite lover.
Natalie : (wildly) I'll give it back, then! Have the Vessel, have the earth, whatever, I'll spend the rest of my life in Hell, but you can't have Joshua!
Kronos : As you wish.
(Kronos claps his hands together, and Natalie vanishes with a scream in a puff of smoke. Daimonique saunters through the door, and falls to her knees before Kronos.)
Kronos : Convince them that she has run off somewhere, then you may return to your normal business.
Daimonique : Yes, most Dread Prince.
(Kronos vanishes in his own puff of smoke. Daimonique wanders over to the counter and pockets the change that Natalie left there, as the angels wander back in.)
Joshua : (looking around) Natalie? Where are you?
Daimonique : (heading for the door) Oh, she went off to be a table dancer in Peru. She told me to say thanks for the memories.
(Dannah twitches.)
Joshua : (reeling) She what?
Daimonique : Table dancer. Peru. She said it was a lifelong ambition or something.
(Tommy and another Malakite grab her before she can get out of the door.)
Joshua : Dannah!
Dannah : Oh, now they all come running.
Joshua : Dannah, please. She might have been kidnapped on the very edge of Redemption!
Daimonique : (dangling) I'm beginning to get the impression you lot aren't a biker gang.
Joshua : And this affects matters how?
Daimonique : Look, I told you. She just ran off to Peru...
Dannah : (twitches) Hell.
Daimonique : ...to be a table-dancer...
Dannah : (twitching more) To spend eternity filing in the Archives.
Daimonique : ...because it was a lifelong ambition.
Dannah : Because Kronos called in a Geas to make Joshua Fall and she refused it.
Daimonique : And if I am lying, may I turn green and grow horns!
Dannah : (brandishing her notebook like a crucifix) Get thou behind me, Lilim!
Joshua : (resolutely) I have to rescue her!
Tommy : Cool.
Dannah : Are you out of your mind?
Daimonique : I was just about to say the same thing.
Joshua : I have faith, hope, and love on my side, and I can get a good disguise. I sneak in, rescue her, and sneak out again. What can possibly go wrong?
Dannah : Everything.
Daimonique : Look, kid, it's her own fault. She made the deal, and now she has to pay the piper. It's how it works.
Joshua : She did it for my sake. Now I owe her.
Dannah : These Lilim barter ethics are pernicious. Look, Joshua, I can try putting a note in the report that I'm taking to Dominic when I tell him about this, we can deal with it through the usual channels...
(Tommy makes hand signals to several of the other angels, who toss him a pair of handcuffs. He chains Dannah and Daimonique together.)
Dannah/Daimonique : What?!?
Tommy : Gee, how noble of the Seraph, taking this Lilim into custody. Look, why don't you just run along now, Joshua, while we stay here and give her any assistance she needs...
Daimonique : (going into a sulk) Couldn't you even have chained me up to someone interesting?
Dannah : This is highly irregular!
Joshua : Sure, I'll be right back...
For a Malakite is a angel bright
As free as a mountain bird,
His energetic fist should be ready to resist
The Fatalistic Word,
His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,
His oath-chains all should gleam,
He never should bow down to a Prince's darkling frown
In Earth or Hell or Dream!
His wings should pump and his knives be sharp,
His psalms be set for lute and harp,
His bosom should heave and his oaths protrude,
And this should be his customary attitude!
His wings should pump and his knives be sharp,
His psalms be set for lute and harp,
His bosom should heave and his oaths protrude,
And this should be his customary attitude!
His honour should be shining clear,
His weapons all to hand,
His surrender he can't give, and no evil he'll let live,
Whatever its foul Band!
Whether Sword or Fire, Lightning or Stone,
Flowers or Wind or War,
He'll be valiant to the end, and he'll never turn or bend,
His honour always sure!
His wings should pump and his knives be sharp,
His psalms be set for lute and harp,
His bosom should heave and his oaths protrude,
And this should be his customary attitude!
His wings should pump and his knives be sharp,
His psalms be set for lute and harp,
His bosom should heave and his oaths protrude,
And this should be his customary attitude!
The Halls of Progress. Angels of Lightning in white lab-coats (even the Kyriotates) fiddle with complicated machinery and scientific experiments amid arcs of electricity. Joshua enters.
We are Servitors of Lightning
Ever searching, experimenting,
We indulge in universe-brightening
In a frenzy of inventing:
If you ask our latest project,
We all want perpetual motion,
It's a fascinating object
But as yet we have no notion.
No, we haven't any notion!
If you ask us how we live,
Sciences all our interests give.
Powers of electricity,
Thriving on efficiency,
Enthusiasm on every face,
Everything filed in its place,
Lab-coats burnished blinding white,
Work all day and work all night.
We do not indulge in fiction;
Coffee is our sole addiction!
Yes, coffee addiction!
We are Servitors of Lightning
Ever searching, experimenting,
We indulge in universe-brightening
In a frenzy of inventing:
If you ask our latest project,
We all want perpetual motion,
It's a fascinating object
But as yet we have no notion.
No, we haven't any notion!
Joshua : That's very interesting. Have I told you lately how much I admire your work?
Abdi-bezek : (peering at him) Actually, you look more like that Malakite of Novalis who was spray-painting the outside of the Halls with slogans last month...
Joshua : Mistaken identity. Anyhow. I need your help.
Abdi-bezek : In what way?
Joshua : (carelessly) I just need a disguise so that I can sneak into the depths of Hell, rescue my true love, and escape again.
Abdi-bezek : Well, current theories say that true love is very energy-efficient, so I can't see any problems with getting permission for that. What sort of disguise?
Joshua : What sort can you do?
Abdi-bezek : I take it that the three-ton total holographic generator is out of the question?
Joshua : Afraid so.
Abdi-bezek : Skinsuit chameleon prototype? (he checks records) No, the Dirty Triad got their hands on that. Hm.
Joshua : Fake moustache?
Abdi-bezek : Please. We do have some standards.
Joshua : What do you suggest, then?
Abdi-bezek : Asking the expert.
(Abdi-bezek presses a button, and weird lights begin to flash across the stage as the Servitors frantically fiddle with their work. A computer console rises from a trapdoor, with Jean standing at it.)
Lightning heightens, sharpens each sensation,
Brightness comes and wakes imagination,
Silently the senses expand on their defences,
Envisioning discoveries to be:
For I compose with electricity.Quickly, brightly, lightning shall surround you,
Feel it, sense it, closing in around you,
Seeing is perceiving, data is believing,
Open up your eyes and truly see:
For I compose with electricity.Train your mind and explore all of your wildest dreams,
Leave all thoughts of the fallacies before,
Let insight bring you what you need to see!
Only then can creation come to be...See the flashing bright illumination,
Let your minds run wild with new sensation,
Turn and seek and find, let your faculties unwind,
Intelligence brings true efficiency:
For I compose with electricity.
Joshua : (bowing) Archangel of Lightning, I need a disguise to sneak into Hell.
Jean : An efficient use of words. Have you been shown the statistics on unaccompanied Malakite descents into Hell?
Joshua : Yes, Archangel.
Jean : More to the point, have you signed the consent form for prototype disguise testing?
Joshua : In triplicate, Archangel.
Jean : Efficient. Very well. Abdi-bezek, have Warehouse 23 opened and give him the Prototype.
(The Servitors of Lightning whisper among each other at the naming of Warehouse 23, and there are ominous orchestra chords.)
Abdi-bezek : (nervously) Warehouse 23, Bright Lord?
Jean : Precisely. I shall adjust the Prototype personally.
(Abdi-bezek mutters to a minor angel, who nods and runs offstage. He returns bearing a heavily locked box, with warning symbols stamped all over it.)
Joshua : This isn't in any way harmful to vegetation, is it?
Jean : If you discover any such effects, make a full report of them.
(Jean puts on a pair of heavy gauntlets, and opens the box, reaching inside it. Orchestral effects as he fiddles with whatever is inside, then finally lifts out a pair of dark glasses.)
Joshua : (open-mouthed) The ... Prototype?
Jean : It is a masterpiece of nanotechnology, and will project an image of you as a demon to all who observe you, once you have turned it on.
Joshua : (humbly) I never knew we'd got this far.
Jean : The switch is behind the right earpiece. I will expect a report in triplicate upon your return. Walk in enlightenment.
(Jean ascends to his computer station, which sinks beneath the stage again.)
Joshua : (with ceremony, puts dark glasses on) I will wear these with awe and reverence.
Abdi-bezek : (wistfully) They look somewhat ... cool.
Joshua : We Virtues are trained for this sort of thing. Don't try this at home, kids.
Abdi-bezek : How are you going to get down there?
Joshua : I'll sneak down a Tether. None of them ever watch out for that sort of thing. They figure angels wouldn't try something so reckless and foolish and blatantly suicidal.
Abdi-bezek : And would you say that you were reckless and foolish and blatantly suicidal?
Joshua : (blankly) Huh?
Abdi-bezek : Well, that answers that question. (marks a box on a questionnaire next to him) Any final thoughts?
Joshua : Poach me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
(Joshua vanishes in a scent of flowers. Curtain falls.)
The Archives, in Hell. Natalie sits among huge stacks of misfiled books, chained by the neck to a shelf. Chorus of Librarians lurks in the higher balconies.
Lovely Archives
Shelving all the day
Got a lot of books here
But they never seem to stay...
Lovely Archives
Shelving through my tears
Pointing at the silence sign
But no one ever hears
And I'm stuck here for a million years...Who wil file them?
No one ever will,
No one ever warned them
That a borrower can kill;
They were harmless
As a book can be,
Now I sit here dreaming
Of the days when I was free,
And the books all dream along with me...
Shelving, shelving,
Shelving through the days,
Looking back at happiness
Through an explosive haze,
Flowers, coffee,
Malakim and fun,
Freedom and excitement
And the glory of the sun,
Will I still care when a million million years are done?
Natalie : Sometimes I wonder if this was worth it. Then I remember Joshua, and I know that I couldn't have lived with the guilt if he'd Fallen. Still...
(Joshua enters, wearing the dark glasses.)
Natalie : (sighs) And here comes another borrower.
Joshua : (approaching) I'm looking for a Lilim.
Natalie : Sorry, we don't do those in paperback.
Joshua : (aside) Can it be that she doesn't recognise me? (to Natalie) I was looking for you, actually.
Natalie : (aside) There's something familiar about this demon who I am unable to recognise. Perhaps it's the way he fiddles with his dark glasses. (to Joshua) What can I do for you? Need anything?
Joshua : Three guesses.
Natalie : You're wearing dark glasses, kid.
Joshua : Guess anyhow.
Natalie : You're a slumming Andrealphus?
Joshua : (glancing behind him nervously) I didn't know he came down this way.
Natalie : (world-weary) He gets everywhere.
Joshua : Well, no. Try again.
Natalie : Mom?
Joshua : You have to be joking.
Natalie : (squints, then throws herself at him with a squeal) JOSHUA!!!
Joshua : (flicking off the dark glasses and returning the embrace) I've come to take you away from all this.
Natalie : But we're in the middle of Hell!
Joshua : Fear not, my love. I have a cunning plan.
Natalie : Which is?
Joshua : Run very fast.
Natalie : Sounds good to me. Can you get this chain off?
Joshua : Sure. I borrowed a couple of lockpicks. (begins to fiddle with the collar on Natalie)
Natalie : And then, to be Free...
Some people say a Lilim's made kinda green,
I say she's made all lean and mean,
Lean and mean and ready to go above,
With a armful of Geases and a heart full of love.
Nine Forces in and whaddya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Momma Lilith, don't ya call me, cause I can't go,
I owe my soul to the company store.
I was born on a morning when there wasn't no shade,
I fluffed out my feathers and I flew to the Glade,
Moved sixteen tons of redwood pine,
And Novalis said, "Boy, you sure are mine!"
Nine Forces in and whaddya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Momma Lilith, don't ya call me, cause I can't go,
I owe my soul to the company store.
When you see me coming, better step aside,
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died,
Died or got herbalised outa the land,
I'm the Nettle of Novalis, with a thorny hand!
Nine Forces in and whaddya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Momma Lilith, don't ya call me, cause I can't go,
I owe my soul to the company store.
I said to my Sisters, there's gotta be fun,
But you can't always look out for number one,
You gotta lend a hand when a friend's in the stew,
And they all said, "Well, hey, what's it worth to you?"
Nine Forces in and whaddya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Momma Lilith, don't ya call me, cause I can't go,
I owe my soul to the company store.
Natalie : (stretching) How did you get down here, anyhow?
Joshua : You know how they say the London Underground goes all the way down to Hell?
Natalie : Uh-huh.
Joshua : It does.
Natalie : Well, that explains a lot.
Joshua : Let's move it.
(A low clapping comes from above, and a spotlight picks out Betharan, leaning on a balcony.)
Betharan : Nicely played, but the game's over now.
Natalie : Sister! How can you do this to us!
Betharan : I don't have a choice. Sister.
Joshua : Everyone has a choice.
Betharan : My choice was to live, Malakite, and this was the price I paid for it.
Natalie : But don't you regret it at all? Don't you wish things could have been different?
Betharan : Not enough to die for.
Midnight
Not a sound from the basement
Has the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight the patient Djinn just sits at my feet
And the Renegades all moan...Memory
All alone here in Hades
I can smile at the old days
had wings back then
In the days when I flew in the Groves and sang with the Wind
Let the memory live again...Every camera seems to drone a ever-watchful warning
Someone mutters
And the paper rustles
And soon it will be morning...Daylight
I must think of my new life
As a Renegade-hunter
And I mustn't give in
This is my choice, it's all that I can hope for now
No new way I can begin.All my Sisters stare at me with looks of blank surprise
Not my friends now
This is how it ends now
The distance in their eyes...Touch me
It's so easy to judge me
All alone with my memories
Of my days in the sun
Just accept that I have no choice nor ever will now
I had freedom - now it's done.
Betharan : (jumping lightly over the edge of the balcony and landing near Joshua and Natalie) I'm afraid leaving isn't an option.
Joshua : Well, I've tried the kindness.
Betharan : I must have missed it.
Joshua : I was in a hurry.
(Betharan and Joshua have a hand-to-hand fight across the stage, to music from _Xena, Warrior Princess_. It ends with Joshua sitting on top of Betharan, who is unconscious.)
Joshua : (breathing hard) Damn, and I thought that first night was an isolated example.
Natalie : Come on! If she's around, there'll be others too...
(Joshua takes her hand, and they run offstage. Curtain falls.)
A pleasant park. Joshua and Natalie enter, still running, Natalie looking behind her nervously. They come to a stop.
Natalie : You think we've lost them?
Joshua : (Yoda-like) So say the plants, Jedi.
Natalie : I never thought we'd make it.
Joshua : (hugging her) Who were the ones in the black leather?
Natalie : Minions of Lust or Servitors of Theft, depending which the leather style was. And who was that guy in the uniform three rooms back?
Joshua : Servitor of Baal, I think. What about the ones who were filming the whole thing?
Natalie : (world-weary) Media. And that must have been the Kobalites when we turned the corner.
Joshua : Why do you think so?
Natalie : They were riding camels and playing harmonicas.
Joshua : Sounds fair enough.
Natalie : But what about the maniac horde of crazies waving scythes at us?
Joshua : (shrugs) Oh, just people.
Natalie : And now we're safe at last...
(Kronos steps out from behind a tree and coughs, threateningly.)
Joshua : Don't look now, but I think someone's trying to attract your attention.
Natalie : Let him. I'm on holiday.
Kronos : There is no "holiday" from Hell, Daughter of Lilith.
(Natalie goes white, and attempts to hide behind Joshua.)
Joshua : (bowing mockingly) Prince of Fate. Aren't you a bit out of your territory?
Kronos : The whole of the earth is mine - aye, and Hell and Heaven too! Wherever a man achieves his Fate, there I am also.
Joshua : You don't have any business with us, then.
Kronos : Ah, but I have business with the Lilim. I have an offer for you, child. Freedom, power, wealth, motorcycles...
Natalie : (emerging and looking interested) Sounds cool. What...
Joshua : (putting out an arm) Uh-uh.
(The whole stage begins to darken, as the sky above clouds over.)
Natalie : What is the price, I was going to say. I'm not entirely brain-dead, Joshua.
Joshua : (muttering) Only when it looks like a bargain.
Kronos : (enticingly) I'm sure we can work out those details later. Just accept what I am offering you, and you can have whatever you want.
Natalie : (her inner struggle shows) I... No.
Joshua : (putting an arm round her) Not this day.
Kronos : (as the stage darkens to a menacing storm-light) There will not be any other days, for either of you.
Freedom's poor child, so lost, so lonely,
Yearning for my guidance...
Demon or debtor, Prince or master,
I will not come to you!
Kronos :
Have you forgotten your Geas?
Demon, away! The bargain's broken,
You have no hold on me!
(Kronos brings out a hand from beneath his robes, with a glowing crystal sphere in it.)
Kronos : Too long you've wandered with angels,
Joshua : Once again he will lie...
Kronos : Far from Hell's far-reaching gaze...
Joshua : Once again he deceives...
I know that Hell is damnation,
Yet my Heart obeys!
Dread Prince of Fate! You/I had denied me/you,
Turning from true freedom,
Dread Prince of Fate! You/I cannot turn now,
Come to your/my last freedom!
I am the ultimate freedom,
Fate is the end of all freedom...
(Natalie disengages herself from Joshua, moving towards Kronos as though hypnotised.)
Joshua : Natalie, whatever he is, this demon, this Prince is not freedom... let her go! For God's sake, let her go!
(Joshua springs forward and grasps at Natalie; she blinks, waking, and holds onto him.)
Natalie : Oh, Joshua!
Kronos : Bravo, Virtue, such spirited words!
Joshua : More deception. More violence.
Kronos : Let's see, Virtue, how far you can go!
(The stage begins to tremble, as it darkens further, an unseen weight pressing down on Joshua and Natalie: she tries to shield him.)
Joshua : Actually, I was thinking of something entirely different.
Kronos : I beg your pardon?
(Joshua puts two fingers to his lips, and whistles. A shaft of light hits the centre of the stage, and Novalis steps out of it, in slacks and Flower Power t-shirt. She smirks.)
Better wait a minute. Ya better hold the phone.
Better mind your manners. Better change your tone.
Don't you threaten me, son. Ya gotta lot of gall.
We gonna do things my way or we won't do things at all.Ya don't know what you're messin' with. You got no idea.
You don't know what you're lookin' at when you're lookin' here.
Ya don't know what you're up against, no, no way, no how.
You don't know what you're messin' with, but I'm gonna tell you now!I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space and I'm bad.
I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space and it looks like you been had.
I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space, so get off my back, get outa my face,
'cause I'm mean and green and - I - am - bad.
(Chorus of Servitors of Flowers step out of the shrubbery to sing and dance.)
Wanna save your skin, boy? You wanna save your hide?
You wanna see tomorrow? You better step aside.
Better take a tip, boy. Want some good advice?
You better take it easy, 'cause you're walkin' on thin ice.Ya don't know what you're dealin' with. No, you never did.
Ya don't know what you're lookin' at, but that's tough titty, kid!
The lion don't sleep tonight, and if you pull his tail, he roars.
Ya say, "That ain't fair?" Ya say, "That ain't nice?"
Ya know what I say? "Up yours!"I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space and I'm bad.
'm just a mean green momma, a real disgrace, and you've got me fightin' mad.
I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space, gonna trash your ass, gonna rock this place,
'cause I'm mean and green and - I - am - bad.Don't you talk to me about old Judge Dom.
You think he's the worst, well, you're thinkin' wrong.
Don't talk to me about Michael's line.
He got a temper, ha! He ain't got mine.You know I don't come from no Seraph stuff.
I'm from outa the earth where the weeds grow rough.
You can keep the Hell, cause the place don't fit,
Keep the lies, cause they don't mean shit.I got one style, major moves.
I got the stuff and I think that proves
You better move it out. Nature calls.
You got the point? I'm gonna bust your balls.
Chorus : Ah, ah, ah, ah. (Here it comes!)
I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space and I'm bad.
I'm just a mean green momma, a real hard case.
You can't beat this trouble, man.
I'm just a mean green momma from Heavenly space,
So just get back on down, It's all over, ace.
I'm mean and green. (Mean green momma from Heavenly space.)
I'm mean and green. (Mean green momma from Heavenly space.)
I'm mean and green. (Mean green momma from Heavenly space.)
(Mean green momma from Heavenly space.)
And I - am - bad.
Joshua : (helping Natalie up off the ground) That was in the nick of time.
Novalis : Well, if you Malakim would for just once in a while get your act together and call me before the nick of time...
Joshua : (whispering to Natalie) Now we get the "I swear I never understand you Malakim" speech.
Novalis : Okay. No speech today. Party now, other stuff later - I'll be needing a word with you about that, kids - but for the moment let's rock the house!
(Chorus of Servitors of Wind come on stage, followed by Dannah, who is carrying several large files with her and looking cheerful, followed by Jean, Abdi-bezek, and Servitors of Technology (still in white lab coats).)
Joshua : Have you wings when you're born?
Natalie : Can you Geas in the dark?
Tommy : Can you spin like a Wheel? Can you race like the
Wind?
Jean : Can you analyse down to the tiniest quark?
Dannah : Have you three pairs of eyes for the triple-ripple
blink?
Celestials can and celestials do,
Celestials do, and celestials would,
Celestials would and celestials can,
Celestials can and celestials do!
Novalis : Can you name every Name to the ultimate part?
Abdi-bezek : Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air?
Natalie : Can you find your way home all the way to your Heart?
Joshua : Do you know how to fly on a wing and a prayer?
Celestials can and celestials do,
Celestials do, and celestials would,
Celestials would and celestials can,
Celestials can and celestials do!
Can you ride with the Lightning to places far distant,
Familiar with science?
With notebook and pen?
Were you Judgement's staunch friend?
Natalie : Or the Warrior's apprentice?
Tommy : Have you been an alumnus to angels and men?
Celestials can and celestials do,
Celestials do, and celestials would,
Celestials would and celestials can,
Celestials can and celestials do!
Tommy : Can you do aerobatics above all the Groves?
Joshua : Can you walk in the Marches asleep and alone?
Dannah : Can you balance your duty against all your loves?
Natalie : Can you always remember that Heaven is your
home?
Celestials can and celestials do,
Celestials do, and celestials would,
Celestials would and celestials can,
Celestials can and celestials do!
Can you sing at the same time in more than one key
Duets for three angels?
Abdi-bezek : Or even a score!
Jean : And can you, like angels, begin with a 'C'...
(Everyone sings great chord in C.)
That rings all the way to the Symphony's core?
The mystical divinity of unashamed Symphonicity
Round the Cathedrals rang again;
Binding all Heaven and earth and men.
Honour, devotion, balance, truth,
From angels who do what
Celestials can and celestials do,
Celestials do, and celestials would,
Celestials would and celestials can,
Celestials can and celestials do!Practical types, dramatical types,
Electrical types and Davidical types,
Oratorical types, Gabriel Oracle types,
Michaelite types, no-fight-at-all types,
Romantical types, pedantical types,
Creationer types, Foundationer types,
Allegorical types, metaphorical types,
Dominican types and Vatican types.
Political types, hypocritical types,
Destiny types, and Laurentian types,
Cynical types, rabbinical types.
There's a man over there with a look of surprise
As much as to say, "Well now, perish the hype:
Have I actually seen with my own very eyes
A man who's not seen an angelical type?"
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Elizabeth McCoy <arcangel@prismnet.com>
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