August 6, 2023: Flapping Con Badge Blues: A Counterpoint

Loose con badges are indeed a tool of the Devil. Especially since they spend most of their time backwards, signifying nothing. (Pro tip: Scrawl your name on the BACK of the badge. This confuses Murphy, like strapping a cat to a piece of buttered toast.)

And I have nothing bad to say about the noble tie bar. But wearing a tie implies wearing a buttoned shirt, which is a style that nowadays I leave to those who can pull it off with more finesse and less abominable abdominal addenda.

In fact, I do not like wearing lanyards, not at all, not with any accessory whatsoever. My earliest journalistic experience involved hot-lead print shops and big Heidelberg presses, and in those places you do not wear ANYTHING around your neck. The machinery can reach out and GRAB you, and then you are boiled alive or smashed flat, and that really impairs your productivity. I think the clip-on tie was invented by a printing company executive. Take the tie, Herr Heidelberg, but leave the rest of me un-crushed!

Some days I can ignore that old hangup and wear a lanyard if I have to. Some days the OCD kicks in and I just cannot.

So one of the things in my con kit is a simple clip that will attach to a shirt pocket, lapel, or collar. This lets me lose the lanyard. As a bonus, the badge is now at shoulder level rather than waist level. And face it, shoulder level is a better place for a nametag, at least at the kind of parties I get invited to.

-- Steve Jackson