Wisdom of the IlluminatiThe cover of GURPS Illuminati had lots and lots of Secret Knowledge on it . . . if you looked at it just right. For those who never got a copy . . . or those who never held it so the light hit it "just so" . . . here's what it says: Disclaimer: We have no wish to offend you unless you're a twit. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Anarchy – It's not the law, it's just a good idea. The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. It's not the principle of the thing. It's the money. Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. FNORD Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. Sincerity is the key. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. The breakfast of champions is the opposition. If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Always do right. This will gratify many people, and astonish the rest. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic. Decadence is its own reward. An honest politician is one who stays bought. Organize for anarchy! Circular definition: see "circular definition." Help! The paranoids are out to get me! According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless. I don't see you, so don't pretend you're there. Tell the truth and run. He who hesitates is last. FNORD A wise man knows everything, a shrewd one, everybody. Moral victories don't count. All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own. Smile! The Illuminati are watching. Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs. All syllogisms have three parts. Therefore, this is not a syllogism. I'll have to put something into their food to make them forget about this. We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy! A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. I don't suffer from insanity. I revel in it. Always be smarter than the people who hire you. But never let them know. The worst thing about censorship is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective. Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. A censor is a man who thinks he knows more than you ought to. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. The less a politician amounts to, the more he loves the flag. Age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time. Forecasting is difficult, especially about the future. Are you sure? [N] Y What if this weren't a hypothetical question? All generalizations are incorrect, including this one. Join the Illuminati and see the world . . . differently. Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. FNORD Beware of the superficially profound. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense. All law is codified revenge. Did you know that "gullible" isn't in the dictionary? Look it up. Hail Eris! All hail Discordia! If winning doesn't matter, why keep score? Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder. Smash the state, and have a nice day. Abandon all hope ye who PRESS ENTER here. No good deed goes unpunished. Thoughts good! Slogans bad! Thoughts good! Slogans bad! Gotta run, my government's collapsing. A friend is someone you call to help you move. A real friend is someone you call to help you move a body. Defeat is worse than death, because you have to live with defeat. Eschew obfuscation! Someone you trust is one of us . . . This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been a real emergency, you would all be dead by now.
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