New Cards for Deluxe Illuminati
by Steve Honeywell
If you've played Deluxe Illuminati with the Y2K expansion pack, you may have noticed, as some gaming groups have, that the Discordians seem to win an awful lot of the time, and often win very quickly. Why is this? The answer is simple -- the influx of new cards is very heavy on Weird groups, giving the Discordians an excellent chance of winning. In a complete set of cards, they need only get five of 36 different groups, or about one in seven. At the same time, the Assassins need to pick up six Violent groups from a pool of 29, or slightly more than 20%, while poor Shangri-la needs to control five Peaceful groups from a set of just 19, which comes to over a fourth of the Peaceful groups in the game. Instead of banning the Discordians -- as may be tempting -- consider instead boosting their required number of Weird groups to six. It's still easier to find six Weird groups than six Violent groups or five Peaceful groups, but the fact that so many of the Weird groups aren't that useful balances this out.
In an effort to further level the playing field, the following 23 new groups are suggested. These groups have been carefully designed to increase the number of groups with rare alignments (namely Peaceful, but also Government, Fanatic, and Communist to a certain extent) without making things too easy for the Bermuda Triangle, and without adding a single Weird group. While Weird is still the most common alignment, it is now much more in line with the other common alignments of Straight, Liberal, Conservative, and Violent. The number of Criminal groups has also been boosted, since these groups do not in and of themselves represent the victory conditions of any specific Illuminati. Additionally, these new groups have been crafted so that they do not overlap the spheres of influence of the groups already present.
Finally, two new Special Action cards have been added to bring a little more variety to the game, adding power to groups and making each toss of the dice just a little bit riskier.
New Cards
Alternative Fuel Researchers
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- None
Power -- 0/1
Resistance -- 4
Income -- 1
Alignments -- Peaceful, LiberalWhile most of the world runs on oil, coal, and electricity, the Alternative Fuel Researchers want to make the world a better place with the help of water power, solar power, burning cow chips, and anything else they can get their hands on. No one really takes them too seriously . . . until they have a breakthrough. The Alternative Fuel Researchers grant a +1 bonus on any attempts to control, neutralize, or destroy Multinational Oil Companies and Nuclear Power Companies.
The American Association of Really Old People
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Down
Power -- 2
Resistance -- 6
Income -- 2
Alignments -- Conservative, Straight, FanaticThis group of retirees can be rabid about asserting their rights, be it to cheap medical care, special treatment at movie theaters, or a free cup of coffee at the local bagel hut. Woe betide those who stand in the way of their walkers or are caught in the backdraft of their oxygen masks. The A.A.R.O.P. grants a +2 bonus on any attempt to control, neutralize, or destroy Drug Companies.
Chicago
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- Up, Right, Down
Power -- 5
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 3
Alignments -- Criminal, Violent, LiberalIt's the City that Works, the City with Big Shoulders, the City By the Lake, and the City with Too Many Nicknames. Gangsters, corruption, stockyards, bad baseball teams, and did we mention corruption? What's not to love for an Illuminated minion?
Congressional Subcommittees
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Up, Down
Power -- 3/3
Resistance -- 2
Income -- 2
Alignments -- GovernmentThey have fancy-sounding names, but when you come right down to it, these groups of fat cats are only too ready to shovel the pork toward their own Congressional district. While not overly powerful in their own right, the Congressional Subcommittees have an additional +2 for direct control of any Government group in addition to the normal bonus for having similar Alignments, since those Government groups want in on the pork as well.
The DMV
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- Up, Down
Power -- 2
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 1
Alignments -- Government, CriminalBecause waiting in line for six hours wasn't bad enough, the DMV was created. Where else can you go to be abused simply because you exist? The DMV grants a +2 on any attempt to do anything to the Fnord Motor Company.
General Eccentric
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- Up, Down
Power -- 4
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 4
Alignments -- ConservativeMakers of electrical products for years, General Eccentric offers virtually every convenience for the modern day home. General Eccentric products are top of line, at least until the 90-day warrantee runs out, which explains their Income.
Health Clubs
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Down
Power -- 2
Resistance -- 4
Income -- 2
Alignments -- Straight, FanaticFar into the future, the cultures that have evolved on this planet will dig down into the earth and find the remains of health clubs. When they do, they will become convinced that we were a culture obsessed with pain. Health Clubs have a +2 bonus for direct control of the International Steroid Consortium.
Infomercials
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- Up
Power -- 1
Resistance -- 0
Income -- 4
Alignments -- Criminal, FanaticAnyone who has ever watched television in the wee hours has seen these useless products available in just three easy payments, pitched by overly perky automatons. Infomercials are that rare breed of fanatic who actually encourages other fanatics, allowing them to control other Fanatics without penalty for opposing alignments.
International Steroid Consortium
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- Up, Right
Power -- 3
Resistance -- 4
Income -- 3
Alignments -- CriminalSelf-improvement at the cost of self-destruction is the motto of this group, who strive to create a world where everyone wears muscle shirts and doesn't have a neck. This group has a +2 for direct control of Professional Sports, Professional Wrestling, and the Olympics.
Karaoke Machines
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- None
Power -- 0
Resistance -- 1
Income -- 3
Alignments -- Communist, CriminalIs there anyone who truly likes these machines of horror, evil, and truly terrible music? Regardless of whether or not they do, these things have pervaded the world. They grant their possessor a +1 on any attempt to neutralize.
Krapp Foods
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Down, Left
Power -- 3
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 5
Alignments -- ConservativeWhen you think about down-home, nutritious cooking, you think about mom. When you think about processed, starchy, fat-ridden foodstuffs past their expiration date, think of Krapp Foods.
Magazine Publishers
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Up, Down, Left
Power -- 5
Resistance -- 3
Income -- 4
Alignments -- NonePurveyors of opinion on everything from the best way to make crab cakes to national foreign policy, magazine publishers shape the thought of the nation, all for just $3.95 an issue. The Magazine Publishers grant a +2 on any attempts to control Junk Mail, the Post Office, and Tabloids.
Maintenance Crews
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- None
Power -- 0/2
Resistance -- 4
Income -- 1
Alignments -- NoneWhen the executives finish their workday, they leave their offices behind so they can be cleaned. What they don't realize is that the Maintenance Crews who do that cleaning have complete access to their files and plans. By spending 5MB off this group, their owner can interfere with any privileged attack.
Mimes
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- None
Power -- 0
Resistance -- 2
Income -- 0
Alignments -- Communist, PeacefulOn the human food chain of hatred, there are politicians, there are lawyers, and then there are the Mimes. With their white face paint and black and white clothing, Mimes present a world where everyone appears the same. While some are charmed by their antics, most simply wish they'd go away. Because of this, the Mimes give their possessor an additional +1 on any attempt to neutralize.
National Public Radio
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Left
Power -- 1
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 1
Alignments -- Liberal, Peaceful, CommunistNews, information, and entertainment, all offered by soothing voices . . . speaking . . . very . . . slowly . . . and . . . calmly. You can feel your mind drifting off to sleep while you listen to the sounds of the woodlands. NPR has a +1 on any attempts for control of the Anti-Nuclear Activists, Antiwar Activists, and Health Food Stores.
The Olympics
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Left
Power -- 1
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 0
Alignments -- Peaceful, StraightAh, the joys of watching professional athletes compete for new sponsor money. Ah, the unparalleled pleasures of watching hulking brutes play sports you've never heard of and will never hear of again . . . at least until the next Olympics. The Olympics has no income of its own, but on the turn following their being controlled and every four turns after, the Olympics declares an Olympiad, boosting their sponsor's incomes by 1 for that turn, the sponsors being the other groups controlled by the same Illuminati. The income of the Illuminati group itself is unaffected.
Poets
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- None
Power -- 0
Resistance -- 6
Income -- 0
Alignments -- Communist, LiberalNo one listens to Poets, do they? Like Cassandra, Poets seem to know what's going on but nobody seems to care. Regardless, Poets offer their possessor a +2 bonus on any attempts to control, neutralize, or destroy Universities and Intellectuals.
Professional Wrestling
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Up, Down
Power -- 4/2
Resistance -- 4
Income -- 4
Alignments -- Violent, FanaticBig, violent men with microphones and Spandex tights might frighten small children, but they make a barrel full of money. Their violent tendencies in the ring are just a facade -- they're much more violent in real life. Professional Wrestling grants the possessor a +2 on any attempts to destroy.
Student Government
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- None
Power -- 0
Resistance -- 1
Income -- 0
Alignments -- Peaceful, LiberalBefore they become big, powerful government officials in the real world, politicians-to-be hone their skills in Student Government in high schools and colleges around the world. Student Governments are powerless, easily dominated, and have no income to speak of. However, most of the Government remembers their Student Government days with fondness, giving this group's possessor a +2 on any attempt to control Government groups.
Texas Implements
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Up, Left
Power -- 3
Resistance -- 5
Income -- 2
Alignments -- ConservativeOnce a powerful player in the microelectronics industry, the star of Texas Implements has faded somewhat in recent years. They still maintain their fierce independence, though, at least until someone makes them a willing puppet.
Theme Restaurants
In Arrow -- Right
Out Arrows -- Down, Left
Power -- 2
Resistance -- 2
Income -- 4
Alignments -- CommunistThey're everywhere with their menus filled with exotic, trendy meals that are all, at a very basic level, the same thing over and over. They've all got kooky antiques on their walls. They've all got drink specials served by glassy-eyed robots. They're all different in the same way. Nothing makes the Illuminated more comfortable.
Toll Booth Operators
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- South
Power -- 1
Resistance -- 4
Income -- 2
Alignments -- Criminal, GovernmentYou pay taxes to build roads so that the government can charge you money to drive on those same roads. Only in a truly Illuminated world would this concept not only make sense, but be a part of everyday life. Thanks to their constant income, Toll Booth Operators offer an additional free money transfer every turn.
Travel Agents
In Arrow -- Left
Out Arrows -- North
Power -- 1
Resistance -- 3
Income -- 2
Alignments -- PeacefulWhy waste your own valuable time booking a trip to an insect-infested, disease-ridden hellhole when you can have someone overcharge you for the exact same vacation? Travel Agents offer a +3 bonus on any attempt to control, neutralize, or destroy Airlines.
New Special Action Cards
Recruitment Drive
A massive wave of publicity causes the general public to swarm the group with influence. This card grants a permanent +1 to the power of any group, including groups that otherwise have no power. Groups with no power who have a Recruitment Drive gain an outgoing arrow directly opposite their inward control arrow. Of course, this also means that this group can be destroyed just like any other group. Using this card is not an action.
Spin Doctors
The influence of these masters of public relations can affect the result of any die roll by up to two in either direction, turning success into failure and snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. This card may be played after any die roll, and can adjust the roll either in favor of or against the attacker. Playing this card affects the use of the Assassination or Murphy's Law cards. Using this card is not an action.
Article publication date: August 30, 2002
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