Castle of Frankentoon
(Starring Rabbit & Cowstello and The Three Pooches)An Adventure for TOON
by Doc Cross
The Set Up
It's Halloween night and those intrepid (but not overly smart) reporters, Rabbit and Cowstello are just arriving at long abandoned Frankentoon Castle in search of a story concerning recent reports of strange goings on in the area. Meanwhile, at the back of the house, The Three Pooches (Hairy, Schmoe and Coily) are going in on assignment from their boss at the Ace Detective Agency. Their mission? Find out if wanted criminal Fingers Ravioli is hiding out here with his gang. If he is, arrest him!
Unbeknowst to any of the five nitwits now entering the castle, Fingers Ravioli and his gang ARE here, but they are being held captive in the dungeon by Count Dorkula and his monster pals. As if that wasn't enough, the strange goings on that have been reported have actually been the boys from a local fraternity (Tappa Kega Bru) getting part of the castle ready for their annual Halloween party.
The Animator can choose to have the Three Pooches meet up with Rabbit & Cowstello early on, or they can be kept apart until about halfway through the adventure. If they are kept apart, let the players of one group play NPCs while the other group is "onstage."
Running Gags
Several running gags appear in comedy horror movies, short subjects and cartoons. Here are a few.
- The Changing Room: This room has walls and floors that rotate to show one sort of room one way and another sort of room the other way. These changes are triggered by opening the door. Naturally, only one character will see the room as a torture chamber. when he shows it to his friends, it looks like a cozy parlor.
- Slide To The Dungeon: There are several trap doors and hidden panels in the walls. They all lead to a slide that ends in the dungeon where the monsters are. Pick one or two poor schmucks to constantly take this scarey slide.
- More Fun With Hidden Doors: Of course, the monsters will use secret doors to pop up wherever the Animator needs them. For that matter, so will the frat boys . . . all of whom are dressed up as monsters.
- The Old Armchair Bit: Simply put, someone sits in a big comfy chair and arms pop out and grab him, holding him in the chair.
- Oh No, I'm Hip-Mo-Tized!: Count Dorkula can and will hypnotize one or more of the characters, who will then spend several turns doing strange, stupid or funny things. Well, DIFFERENT strange, funny or stupid things from what they normally do.
- Gee, Doctor, Are We Ever Glad We Found YOU!: The kindly Doctor Jerkyl will be more than willing to help the characters. Of course, when he's alone with one of them, he'll turn in to the portly and psychopathic Mr. Wyde.
- The Old Hallway Full Of Doors Bit: This bit is a classic and we've all seen it 1,000 times, so you know the drill:) Draw a long hallway with at least 6 doors on each side. Once the monsters start chasing the characters in earnest, have the action move to this hallway and place one character and one monster behind each door. Toss something scarey into the rooms with the characters so they'll leave their rooms. Most likely they'll run in to monsters in the next room they choose. Much running from room to room and screaming and hilarity will ensue. At some everyone (monsters included) should step into the hallway, look at everyone else, scream and run back into their room. Optional gag: A character leaves a room and passes himself in the hallway. Optional Gag 2: The door a character enters is not the one he leaves by. Sort of a random teleportation thing.
- Guest Monsters: Have a very ornate coffin show up in different rooms throughout the adventure. When a character opens it (or when it opens on its own) have a different Guest Star Monster step out and chase the characters for a turn or two. To find out who the Guest Monster is, roll on this table . . .
The Super Duper Guest Monster Table
11 Cthulhu 12 The Creature from the Black Lagoon 13 Any Politician 14 A Floating Disembodied Brain 15 The Phantom of the Opera 16 A Ghost 21 Martha Stewart 22 A Werewolf 23 A Weremoose 24 A Weremuskrat
25 Bigfoot 26 A Giant Spider 31 Godzilla 32 The Devil 33 Lots Of Snakes 34 A Giant Eyeball 35 A Crazed Psycho Killer 36 Regis Philbin 41 Bill Gates 42 Bride of Frankentoon 43 A Zombie 44 Giant Ants 45 The Invisible Man (you'll have to take his word on it) 46 King Kong 51 1d+1 Skeletons 52 The Blob 53 The Hunchback of Notre Dame
54 A Game Designer 55 An Alien (or maybe Sigourney Weaver)
56 A Great White Shark 61 The Iron Chefs 62 A 50' Long Alligator 63 Any WWF Wrestler 64 1d+1 Hideous Mutants 65 A Giant Turkey 66 The Animator Stuff
Here are a few items to have sitting around for the characters to find.
- Hammer & Stakes: Just the thing to spike old Count Dorkula with right? Wrong. The head of the hammer will fall off the first time anyone tries to use it and the stakes are rotten wood anyway.
- Hair Remover: Splash some of this on the Werewombat and his hair will all drop off instantly, leaving him standing there in his undies. He will then scream and run off, only to return 1d+1 turns later . . . hairy again and really angry.
- Dynamite: Just because TOON games are more fun when high explosives are around.
- "Know Your Monsters": This handy series of books tells the characters all they need to know about the various monsters. However, the books are so interesting that anyone reading them will fail to notice the monster creep up behind them and start reading over their shoulder . . . until they feel a tap on their shoulder and hear someone say "Turn to the next page"
- A Black Cat: This pussycat just loves to leap out of closets, put its tail out to be stepped on and do other heartstopping things to the characters. As with all cartoon cats, if it gets killed at all, it must be killed 9 times.
- Tana Leaf Tea: Any character who finds this cup full of tea and drinks it will become a regular Mummy magnet. The Mummy will chase them everywhere for 3d+2 turns.
- Trick Guns: The frat boys left several guns around, but although they LOOK real, they aren't. They are squirtguns, paintball guns, lasertag guns, cigarette lighters that look like guns or just capguns. The characters will find this out too late. Won't that be fun?
Cast Of Characters
Bud Rabbit
Bud is a 6 foot tall humanoid rabbit. He has slicked back hair and a little moustach. He's a pretty snappy dresser and prefers wearing suits. Bud thinks of himself as the brains of the Rabbit & Cowstello team and he IS smarter than Lou, but that's not saying much. A fencepost is smarter than Lou. Bud will never hesitate to let his little bovine partner do anything that smacks of dangerous or labor intensive work. He will also do his best to confuse Lou with convoluted arguments and word games, as in the famous "Who's On First" bit. Altho Bud will act brave, he will turn into a big coward once he finally learns that the monsters are real. Interestingly, and despite lou trying to show him proof, this will never happen until the game is at least half way over.
Bud carries a newspaper, a cigar and a reporters notebook and pen in his Back Pocket.
Beliefs and Goals: Get the story, but make Lou do any unpleasant or dangerous work. Pay no attention to him when he starts panicking. Keep clean and looking good in case we meet any ladies.
Hit Points: 12
Speed: 5
Muscle: 4
Break Down Door: 5
Climb: 4
Fight: 4
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 4
Throw: 6
Zip: 4
Dodge: 5
Drive Vehicle: 4
Fire Gun: 4
Jump: 5
Ride: 4
Run: 7
Swim: 5
Smarts: 4
Hide/Spot Hidden: 5
Identify Dangerous Thing: 8
Read: 6
Resist Fast-Talk: 10
See/Hear/Smell: 6
Set/Disarm Trap: 6
Track/Cover Tracks: 4
Chutzpah: 6
Fast-Talk: 10
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 6
Sleight of Hand: 6
Sneak: 6
Shticks:
Incredible Luck: 7Lou Cowstello
Lou is a 5 foot tall chubby humanoid cow. (well, actually he's a bull) He has dark hair and big brown eyes. He wears a suit that looks like he slept in it and a battered fedora. He is a loveable little guy, but not very bright. He tends to get scared easily and when scared he loses his voice for a few minutes. He can, however, still whistle very loudly. Lou knows that Bud takes advantage of him, but he still gives in to Buds fast talking. Like Bud, Lou is a sucker for a pretty face.
Lou carries a big reporters camera, a bottle of soda and a bag of popcorn in his Back Pocket.
Beliefs and Goals: Get the story and take lots of pictures. Be on the lookout for REAL monsters! Try not to let Bud confuse you.
Hit Points: 14
Speed: 3
Muscle: 3
Break Down Door: 3
Climb: 4
Fight: 4
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 4
Throw: 3
Zip: 2
Dodge: 4
Drive Vehicle: 3
Fire Gun: 3
Jump: 3
Ride: 2
Run: 4
Swim: 6
Smarts: 3
Hide/Spot Hidden: 4
Identify Dangerous Thing: 7
Read: 5
Resist Fast-Talk: 3
See/Hear/Smell: 4
Set/Disarm Trap: 3
Track/Cover Tracks: 3
Chutzpah: 3
Fast-Talk: 4
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 3
Sleight of Hand: 3
Sneak: 4
Shticks:
Cosmic Shift: 6Shmoe
Shmoe is the toughest and smartest of the Three Pooches, but he is still a moron. He's also not overly brave, especially around monsters. He is a 5'6" humanoid Boxer dog. He is dressed in a dark colored suit with a fedora hat. He is attempting to look like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe. In fact, he looks more like a gangster than a detective. Shmoe slaps and whacks Hairy and Coily around, but they often whack him back. All three of the Pooches can take HUGE amounts of damage before they fall down.
Shmoe has a snubnose .38, a bottle of cheap hooch and a copy of the Racing Form in his Back Pocket.
Beliefs and Goals: Solve the case and become a famous gumshoe! The dames will really think you're hot stuff then! Keep an eye on those two knuckleheads, Hairy & Coily. Show them how a REAL private eye does things.
Hit Points: 50
Speed: 5
Muscle: 4
Break Down Door: 4
Climb: 4
Fight: 6
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 5
Throw: 5
Zip: 4
Dodge: 4
Drive Vehicle: 5
Fire Gun: 5
Jump: 4
Ride: 4
Run: 6
Swim: 5
Smarts: 3
Hide/Spot Hidden: 4
Identify Dangerous Thing: 5
Read: 4
Resist Fast-Talk: 4
See/Hear/Smell: 9
Set/Disarm Trap: 4
Track/Cover Tracks: 4
Chutzpah: 5
Fast-Talk: 5
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 5
Sleight of Hand: 5
Sneak: 6
Shticks:
Bag of Many Plumbing Tools: 6Hairy
A 5'6" humanoid Poodle, Hairy is dressed in a trenchcoat and slacks. Both are rumpled, since he is going for the "Columbo" style of detective look. He is smoking a cigar. Hairy is just as dumb as Schmoe, but thinks he is the brains of the bunch. He does have some talent for inventing things, but his inventions NEVER work right. Hairy is just as much of a coward as Schmoe or Coily are.
Hairy carries a flashlight, notebook & pen and a cup of hot coffee in his Back Pocket.
Beliefs and Goals: Solve the case and become a famous gumshoe! The dames will really think you're hot stuff then! Keep an eye on those two knuckleheads, Schmoe & Coily. Show them how a REAL private eye does things.
Hit Points: 50
Speed: 5
Muscle: 4
Break Down Door: 4
Climb: 4
Fight: 6
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 5
Throw: 5
Zip: 4
Dodge: 4
Drive Vehicle: 5
Fire Gun: 5
Jump: 4
Ride: 4
Run: 6
Swim: 5
Smarts: 3
Hide/Spot Hidden: 4
Identify Dangerous Thing: 5
Read: 4
Resist Fast-Talk: 4
See/Hear/Smell: 9
Set/Disarm Trap: 4
Track/Cover Tracks: 4
Chutzpah: 5
Fast-Talk: 5
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 5
Sleight of Hand: 5
Sneak: 6
Shticks:
Bag of Many Baked Goods: 6Coily
AKA "The Fat Bald Pooch," Coily is probably the dumbest of the three. He is a chubby and bald humanoid Labrador Retriever. He is dressed in a Sherlock Holmes outfit, complete with deerstalker cap. Of all the Pooches, Coily is the one most likely to do really strange things when he gets mad, frustrated or sees a good looking woman. By the way, Coilys name is pronounced the way it is due to his "New Joisy" accent. That also explains why he uses the woid, err, word, "soitanly" instead of just saying "yes."
Coily carries a large magnifying glass, a pipe (it blows bubbles) and a copy of "The Hound of the Basketballs" in his Back Pocket.
Beliefs and Goals: Solve the case and become a famous gumshoe! The dames will really think you're hot stuff then! Keep an eye on those two knuckleheads, Hairy & Schmoe. Show them how a REAL private eye does things. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
Hit Points: 50
Speed: 5
Muscle: 4
Break Down Door: 4
Climb: 4
Fight: 6
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 5
Throw: 5
Zip: 4
Dodge: 4
Drive Vehicle: 5
Fire Gun: 5
Jump: 4
Ride: 4
Run: 6
Swim: 5
Smarts: 3
Hide/Spot Hidden: 4
Identify Dangerous Thing: 5
Read: 4
Resist Fast-Talk: 4
See/Hear/Smell: 9
Set/Disarm Trap: 4
Track/Cover Tracks: 4
Chutzpah: 5
Fast-Talk: 5
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 5
Sleight of Hand: 5
Sneak: 6
Shticks:
Bag of Many Strange Household Items and Live Angry Animals: 6The Monsters
(We've only listed a short description, hit points and basic stats for the monsters, in order to save space.)
Frankentoons Monster
7 feet tall humanoid duck, greenish skin, bolts in his neck, not very fast, VERY strong and very scarey looking. Not much of a talker.
Hit Points: 30
Speed: 3
Muscle: 11
Zip: 2
Smarts: 2
Chutzpah: 4Count Dorkula
5'8" pale looking humanoid cat, wears formal evening attire and a cape, has the Hypnotize shtick at 7, controls Frankentoons Monster and The Mummy, speaks with a thick Transylvanian accent, vants to drink your blood.
Hit Points: 16
Speed: 6
Muscle: 6
Zip: 5
Smarts: 7
Chutzpah: 6The Werewombat
6' tall humanoid wombat with big sharp teeth, howls alot, smashes furniture, a little sensitive about being one of the goofier types of lycanthrope, pretty well housebroken.
Hit Points: 22
Speed: 5
Muscle: 9
Zip: 4
Smarts: 4
Chutzpah: 5The Mummy
6' 4" humanoid pig wrapped from head to toe in old moldy bandages, smells pretty musty, can't talk...just groans, afraid of fire, sometimes hums the Bangles tune "Walk Like An Egyptian"
Hit Points: 30
Speed: 4
Muscle: 8
Zip: 3
Smarts: 4
Chutzpah: 6Dr.Jerkyl/Mr.Wyde
5'10" human/6' tall human, thin and aristocratic looking/burly and common looking with a really big butt, soft spoken and helpful/loud rude and psycho, carries a doctors bag/carries a big honking axe
Hit Points: 13/25
Speed: 4/6
Muscle: 4/7
Zip: 3/5
Smarts: 9/9
Chutzpah: 5/7
Article publication date: March 30, 2001
Copyright © 2001 by Steve Jackson Games. All rights reserved. Pyramid subscribers are permitted to read this article online, or download it and print out a single hardcopy for personal use. Copying this text to any other online system or BBS, or making more than one hardcopy, is strictly prohibited. So please don't. And if you encounter copies of this article elsewhere on the web, please report it to webmaster@sjgames.com.