An INWO love story

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Daniel Myers was inspired by the recent thread on INWO groupies, and came up with this.

They certainly were Strange Bedfellows. He, the Charismatic Leader of the Moral Minority; she, one of a group of Feminists who helped elect Bill Clinton. But there was a Hidden Influence that brought them together. One night, after he had led a March on Washington and she came home from a Benefit Concert in support of the Liberal Agenda, they met under Cover of Darkness.

"The Stars Are Right," he said to her, "Let's Get Organized, and I promise I will be Kinder and Gentler to you, baby!"

"But I have to know for my Self-Esteem," she asked, "will I just be Sucked Dry and Cast Aside?"

"Honey," he told her, "I don't want Scandal! I've got Family Values, baby, and at our wedding, we'll Let Them Eat Cake!"

So that night, he made The Big Score. After it was over, she asked "Are We Having Fun Yet? Because as far as I'm concerned, pal, this has been a Botched Contact." But he consulted some Girlie Magazines for pointers, and the next time he was like a Perpetual Motion Machine. Their affair took off like a Hurricane, and soon they went on a Sudden European Vacation together to France and Italy.

But it couldn't last. Their love was Exposed! The Tabloids created a Media Sensation about their torrid behavior. One story even said she agreed to Go Fish with Teddy Kennedy (and we all know what that means). The same story said he was off to Hawaii with Imelda Marcos, making it a Mutual Betrayal.

Big Media was gunning for him. He had to get a Teflon Coating, and fast.

"We aren't Swingers," he told the Senate Investigating Committee. "These stories are just a Hoax. I was minding my own buisness that night when I met this Bimbo at Eleven. The photograph is an obvious Forgery."

She was devastated. "What about our Commitment?" she asked.

"I Lied," he replied.

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MORAL: Just Say No.

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(More of this stuff)