Heaven and Hell, INWO style

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Heaven and Hell, INWO style

Sometimes, everything works for you: that amazing trick somehow works, your rivals fail to stop you, your machiavellian plans succeed beyond your wildest expectations. INWO Heaven indeed.

And sometimes they don't. Sometimes they really don't work. Naturally, you may very well be rather upset at this; so much, in fact, that you lose track of the nature of your current situation. The helpful subscribers to the inwo-list have therefore collected this useful, handy guide, for just this eventuality. Heaven and Hell, INWO style.

INWO Heaven

When you find out that you're not the only one playing Shangri-La (hey, a sloppy win is better than a well-planned loss).

When someone says "Hey, what would you be willing to trade . . ." when you have an I Lied card in your hand.

When the other players decide to beat the cr*p out of each other just before your turn starts (particularly when you're playing the Servants)

When you're playing Discordia and everybody else is using a Government theme

When your opponent miscounts his groups, makes a desperate end-game ploy, then declares "victory", just in time for you to say, "Um, hey, isn't that 11 groups?"

INWO Hell

When you decide to play that fine-tuned, four-group "sure-win" deck and someone's ATO is the SCA

When you play a ridiculous number of tokens and +10 cards in an attack on a group, and that group's master cancels your initial action

When you're playing your famous Liberal deck, and your opponent is Servants of Cthulhu with a Newt Gingrich lead card

When the I.R.S. taxes your top plot card, and it's your Goal card or Unmasked

When the first plot card played in a game using your degenerate deck is "Nevermore!"

Scott McNair (radioboy@iar.net)

INWO Heaven

You are playing Bavaria, New York doesn't bounce, and your opening draw consists of two power grabs, gun control, and Seize the Time.

You are playing a population reduction deck and your opponents lead with Brazil, England, and California.

You are playing the Society of Assassins and your opening draw consists of a Perpetual Motion Machine, End of the World, and two full moons.

Your opponent declairs victory and then notices that they have two goal cards in their hand.

You are playing The Servants of Cthulhu, and someone Fickle Finger of Fate's you. :)

INWO Hell

Everyone is playing Shangri-La.

You are playing the UFOs and The Network decides to Bar Codes you and announce to everyone exactly what your stratagy is.

You expose your opponent's hand, which is five go fishes, and then your opponent introduces herself as Shirley McClaine.

Your opponent leads with Australia, and introduces himself as Alex Markley. (I can make jokes about myself just fine.)

You are playing a cheating game, and have to go to the bathroom . . . every five minutes.

You are playing a green earth first type deck. Your opponent nevermores Global Warming and puts down World Hunger.

You ATO Media Sensation: Joey Buttafuoco, and four of your opponents put Regi$tered Trademark on it.

You are playing Shangri-La, and three people hit you with Brushfire Wars.

You are playing Discordia, and one of your opponents ATOs Deprogrammers and Gordo Remora.

You are playing the Adepts and someone plays The Magic Goes Away.

Duke Martin Sweeteyes (markley@scs.unr.edu)

INWO Heaven

You execute a brilliant move to steal three groups at once from a rival, leaving you one group short of victory. You have an Illuminati Token that will take a group from hand on a roll of 10 or less . . . and you can make the attack privileged.

You draw a plot in an attempt to thwart victory, and actually get a NWO.

Someone shows you a plot as part of an offer, and you have Go Fish in hand.

You kill Bjorne before anyone else does.

You turn over Illuminati cards - and all of your rivals are playing Gnomes of Zurich. You also have two Antitrust Legislations in deck.

You lead something obvious like the NPCs to make someone else's lead bounce - and it works.

You use Brazil, Hawaii, China, Perpetual Motion Machine and the Book of Kells on a Privatized, Nutrition-Nazi'd, Sufficiently Advanced, Assertiveness Trained, Cyborged Germany to give it six tokens a turn.

All your Magic-obsessed friends suddenly decide that they want to play something different - something that works well as a multiplayer game.

You find boosters for 20% of retail. The clerk is a bit distracted and takes 20% of the already discounted price. You politely ask for the other two boxes.

You finally get a copy of Autonome for your "Up Against the Wall" deck.

INWO Hell

You play the Adepts, and finally pull off that "take six Magic resources in a turn" trick with Flying Saucer/Illuminati Token/Grave Robbers/The Stars are Right/Forgery/Evil Geniuses (or Defection or Supernova) . . . and one of your opponents pulls out three Suicide Squads from Warehouse 23, and the others play Hex and Deasil Engine.

You are one group short of victory, you spend an Illuminati Token that will take a group from hand on a roll of 10 or less, and you make the attack privileged . . . and roll a 12.

You draw a plot to thwart victory, and get a NWO that's already in play.

You expose a plot to avoid Go Fish, and then you notice that your rivals have the Templars, Arms Dealers, Psychiatrists and Wargamers in play.

Someone plays Regi$tered Trademark on your Zuvieldienstleistende . . . and you suddenly develop a terrible stutter. Then you realise you also forgot to take your medication for Tourette's syndrome.

You turn over Illuminati cards - and all of your rivals are playing Shangri-La. You realise that both your red NWOs are Peace in Our Time.

You lead something obvious to make someone else's lead bounce, it works . . . then you notice that all your alternative leads are already out.

You have 18 power-12 tokens on Germany, and someone exposes Reach Out.

All your INWO-playing friends suddenly take up Magic.

All your new boosters have 3 copies of Foiled. And no rares.

Your opponent casually mentions getting their third copy of CONspiracy.

Glen Barnett (g.barnett@unsw.EDU.AU)

INWO Heaven

Living in Germany you have access to all the wonderful german cards as well as to the english set.

INWO Hell

Living in Germany, with Inwo not being as popular here as in the states, and having nobody to play with.

Complete Collection with nothing to do but to look at it :-(

V.A.G (grei5001@uni-trier.de)

INWO Heaven

When every other player is attacking you, and you win anyway (I've done this exactly once, with DotW Ignorance Is Strength).

INWO Hell

When you can't find anyone else to play INWO with (the horror!).

INWO Purgatory: When you can only find one other person to play INWO. (Sorry, Glen!)

Aaron Curtis (curtis@europa.com)

And of course, when all else fails:

INWO Heaven

You can't stop your opponent winning, but he's relying on you to get a lift home.

INWO Hell

You can't stop your opponent winning.

David Streeter (surturz@zip.com.au)

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